One year ago today

We were spending our very first hours together as a family of 8. We were excited, nervous, and not at all sure what the future would hold.

Kai was such a surprise to me. When I met him at Jonah House he was shy, quiet, and reserved. I got a couple of true smiles from him, and he was excited to look at family photos with me, but overall, the impression he left me with was one of a quiet, polite, and sweet kid. Looking back, I realize he was scared that day. Scared maybe of what sort of impression he would make, scared of what his new sister would be like, scared that maybe we would change our minds after all, scared at how much his life would change. I’m not really sure, but I do know, that timid child was nowhere to be seen from the moment he walked in our door.

Kai Wei walked through our doors and became a part of our family. He came in, singing in Chinese, squealing in excitement, and shooting nerf guns at everyone (with a bit of prompting from his siblings). It was easy to love him. To my surprise, it even felt natural to say he was my brother. Despite that, there was still a sense that we weren’t quite family. After all, families have a history together. They tell stories that start with, “remember when?” I longed for that cohesive bond that families have, the way we can be comfortable being ourselves together because we know each other better than anyone else ever could.


Well, after a whole year, we have built a history together. We have so many stories beginning, “remember when?” Remember when the electricity went out and we cooked dumplings on the floor? Remember when we went backpacking together and ate the crayfish? Remember the time we went to the drive-in with Abby and Matt? Remember when, remember when, remember when. . .

This whole first year we went through a lot of “firsts” together. Those firsts were hard for Kai. He could sense our excitement, but since he hadn’t been part of it before and wasn’t really sure what to expect, he was always rather “prickly” about traditions. I’m looking forward to this coming year. We have a solid sense now of being a family. After a whole year together, there will be very few firsts that aren’t also firsts for the whole family.

It’s been such a joy to spend this year with Kai. His sense of security in his place in the family has grown. He loves his Mom, his Dad, his brothers and his sisters. He makes us all laugh and loves to talk when he’s in the mood (not necessarily when we ask questions). He has learned a LOT of English, and still works hard at communicating things when he doesn’t know the words. He still loves noodles for breakfast, but we’ve managed to convince him that chocolate cake is a good thing. Medieval capes, legos, and bionicles are all things he and Daniel have learned to enjoy together, most of the time. Kai has amazed us with his resilience and adaptability. We love him and are so happy that we've been on this adventure of being a family together for a year now.

Happy Gotcha Day to Kai and a note on Sarah-Grace

One year ago today we met Kai Wei for the first time! It hardly seems possible. In some ways it seems like just yesterday and in other ways it feels like forever. We had a CELEBRATE! card for him this morning and we told him we would go out to dinner this weekend--just Kai and Mom and Dad. He likes that! We talked a little about the day we met in Taiwan. But for right now Kai prefers to look forward, not back.

Here are some firsts for Kai this year as well as some language learning he has done. In looking over these I can see how he has been changing and growing;

Flying
Snow
Drive-in Movie
Snow Tubing
Back Packing
Fifth grade in the USA
Boy Scouts
Christmas morning in a family
And of course, being part of a large family--He really likes that. Says when he grows up he will get married, have a big house, lots of cool cars and a lot of kids--maybe 6 or 7 :-)

Just after we got home from Taiwan Kai announced that he knew I was Debbie and Daddy was Dana because he listened and heard us call each other that in Taiwan.
Rebecca was Bagga.
To express all of something he would say "everybody", whether it was food or cars etc.
as in "Everybody for me." (I can eat all this) and "Everybody for sale?" (in the car lot)
One day I told Kai he was being selfish, later he said I was mean, "You call me crayfish!"
Our church is the Basket Ball Church or very early it was the Basket Ball jiao tan(Chinese for church), because it is where he plays basketball.

And still, when we go out to a restaurant, we "go outside eat" ever a favorite of Kai's.

Kai has such an awesome personality and great sense of humor. He is also opinionated and the grass is always greener on the other side. But right now I think he is fairly content with where the year has brought him. I know he is sometimes still frustrated or feeling misunderstood or confused. But I also believe he feels loved and accepted. What a year it has been for one little boy and his whole big family!

Now for a note on Sarah-Grace:

Our Congressman heard from AIT about the same info we've been hearing. They want to see the father sign relinquishment papers before they will issue a visa. That was the bad news. However, just after we learned that we heard from Taiwan that the court date for this case is February 19 and the judge who is presiding over the case really cares about the good of the child and usually is able to give his rulings in a timely manner. So more waiting, but maybe an end in sight? Please pray!

Xin Nian Kuai Le!

Happy Chinese New Year! We went for the first time this year to our Chinese Association's Chinese New Year celebration.  It was very nicely done.  There were probably close to 400 people there.  There were dance, erhu, singing, drumming, and lion dance performances.  It amazes me the amount of local talent we have.  We enjoyed dinner after the performances, but we weren't brave enough to stay for the karaoke.

Kai going up on stage to get his hong bao (red envelope)

Daniel lined up for his hong bao.

Today we went to the Chinese church.  They have a potluck meal and performances following the service on Chinese New Year.  All the little kids looked so cute running around in their New Year's outfits.

These girls performed last night at the Chinese Association celebration too!

The littlest performer today.  He went up on stage with the youngest Sunday school class to sing Deep and Wide, Jesus loves me, and the B-I-B-L-E.  They were SO cute.  

Please PRAY

So we heard from our congressman's office today and they have sent a letter on our behalf to AIT! I am hoping and praying this is a good thing and does not get anyone angry or something. They sent along some of our documentation. I guess they agreed with us that she is classifiable as an orphan. Please pray that AIT will also agree and issue Sarah-Grace a visa.

Since it is Chinese New Year in Taiwan there may not be a lot of office work going on. So we may have to wait a while before we hear anything. But having the hope is nice!

Thanks for praying with us. Oh, and while you are will you please pray for another family in a similar situation? They are in the process of adopting 3 young siblings from Taiwan and also are having VISA problems. Here is their blog address:
http://histaihens.blogspot.com/
Watch the I Heart Revolution video while you are there.
And pray some more :-)

Two Happy Events and a Word to the Wise

Two happy things happened today.  For whatever reason Dana, Kai and Daniel started watching our old videos of Taipei.  This was very exciting, especially for Kai.  I think he really liked realizing he now has a "history" in this new family.  He also admitted for the first time that he is glad to be here.  Many clues in his demeanor made us believe that.  But this is the first time he felt confident enough  (or safe enough or sure enough?) to say so himself.  After watching the video he needed to take the camera and make his own "Kai Show."  Complete with sounds, songs and antics.  He is so funny sometimes!

We also had a webchat with Sarah-Grace tonight.  It was so nice to see her and see her so happy.  They are off school for three weeks and she is visiting with the family of one of the workers at the orphanage.  She has been so kind to Sarah-Grace and has really befriended her and given her lots of time to play with her own little girl who is just a couple of years younger.  This is so good for Sarah-Grace as everyone at Jonah House is a baby or a boy!  Hmm, I guess that will prepare her for life with 4 crazy brothers!

We've sent all our documents to our congressman and asked if he could help us to get a visa a bit quicker.  I don't know if this is possible, but it is nice to think it may be.  The thought of waiting 6 more months is still not a happy one!

And a last word of advice on this post about video cameras: DO NOT get a new one just before an "important life event".  WHY?  Because you will not know how to work it and among pictures of your "important life event" you will have MANY pictures of floors, walls, heads and halls!  As well as memories of taking pictures that somehow did not end up in the camera. . .hmm. . .

Waiting

Waiting is not easy, and it is certainly not fun, but every time I start to give in to self pity, God reminds me that He gives us strength, and that ultimately, He is in charge.

Yesterday this was one of the songs we sang at church. It seemed particularly appropriate.

"Everlasting God" 

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary

You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles

Isaiah 40:28-31 "Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

And Staci, whose family is in China right now picking up her little sister, shared this encouraging verse on her blog several months ago, and as I was looking back through old posts, I came across it.

"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day."
Habakkuk 2:3

And from the Message
"And then God answered: "Write this.
Write what you see.
Write it out in big block letters
so that it can be read on the run.
This vision-message is a witness
pointing to what's coming.
It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait!
And it doesn't lie.
If it seems slow in coming, wait.
It's on its way. It will come right on time."

Of course, these verses were written in reference to a specific situation. But the God who spoke them remains the same. His plans do come to pass and are accomplished in His time.

"Sad" New Year

We rang the old year out with some heavy hearts.  We received an email from Jonah House that AIT will not issue a visa until the birthfather signs relinquishment papers or has his rights terminated.  Unfortunately the court thought it best to pursue the parental rights termination in another jurisdiction and we have been told this will take at least 6 more months.  Yes, you read that right, SIX MONTHS our little girl will sit in an orphanage while it is decided that she, who has spend 7 of her 9 years in foster care and in orphanages, is indeed an orphan.  Go figure.  It is hard for me to believe that this is God's will for her or us.  So please pray that if His will involves a quicker timeframe we could find it.

There are some things to hope for:   The birthfather could be found and willingly sign the relinquishment papers (at this point the court has denied him custody or the right to parent Ssu-Ya, so he would gain nothing but spitefulness by not signing),  or immigrations in our state could look over the case and approve her I-600 that she is classifiable as an orphan, or the new court would somehow be willing to expedite the case for Ssu-Ya's welfare.  

Hope springs eternal. . .

I'm just so totally not willing to accept this yet.  It came as such an unwanted shock.  I am still hoping it is somehow not true and not what the future holds.  Time will tell.  I am thankful that I serve a risen saviour who knows all our needs and our frail frames and promises to work ALL things for good to those who love him and are called according to his purpose.