Well this past Thursday evening my nap on the couch was interrupted by a phone call from our Faithful Adoption agency worker! I knew the only reason she would call was if she had a referral! Unfortunately she had forgotten we wanted siblings only, and she had the referral of an 8 year old boy, thinking we could get a girl later. But we are pretty set on siblings for a number of reasons. The first is because we are a rather large family (and extended family) for children to come into and we think "there is safety in numbers"! Well really, we just feel we might be less overwhelming if they have each other too. Another reason has to do with family history. As a family we have 20+ years of memory making behind us. We feel if a brother and sister also have a history together they may feel as though the two families are combining--rather than theirs being "engulfed" by ours. Then there is the issue of bonding--perhaps a child, going through the trauma of losing parents with a sibling, as opposed to alone, may have less difficulty to bond with, love and trust others. But really, that will be God's job. . .I have been praying for this adoption for many years. . .
I think we chose a brother and a sister because that is where the desires lie within the family. It also maintains the family balance and works well for the bedroom situation. . .
It is very difficult to say "no" to a child. I felt sad when I got off the phone and confused, as if something were not right. And even this post is an effort to explain that "no". But ultimately it is in the hands of God. We hope and pray our "desires" are placed in our hearts by Him. And we wish to willing submit those desires to Him. He is an awesome God and perfectly able to work with our frail frames and bring about his divine will!
Pray for the orphans. Blessings, Debbie
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Thursday, April 20, 2006
The View from College
Right now, I should technically be writing an opinion essay for my New Testament class but I’m finding it very irksome. I am also having trouble figuring out what I’m going to say. (Perhaps due to the Easter candy mom left on my desk over break?) Normally when I can’t focus on assignments, I write a blog post for my personal, friends-and-family’s-keep-track-of-Rebecca blog, but I’ve wanted to write something for the adoption blog for a long time. So here it is.
Being away from my family while the adoption is progressing is very hard at times and I often feel disconnected. Daniel even told me over break that “It sort of doesn’t feel like you are part of the family anymore. But that’s okay, I still love you.” At six, he can hardly be expected to have tact... I know that not very much is happening, and may seem like nothing for the rest of my family at home, but I only find out things in chunks, and it is things like inside family jokes, expressions, and dinner time conversations that I miss. What for them is more of a gradual process for me sometimes feels like it moves in fits: Christmas break finds me clearing out my old room and moving in with Annie and discussing where we will fit our new sister’s bed. A phone call a few weeks later at school - and the quilts are chosen for the beds and I learn that they’ve begun referring to our new siblings by the Chinese words for little brother and little sister. The next week brings an email with pictures of Annie’s room transformed into ‘our’ room...with a third bed waiting for the third sister.
Of course, being at college makes the process even more exciting at times. Girls come in my room and get excited see my adoption fund chart has more colored circles, or they find me coloring them in and ask if they can help. In the middle of a paper, someone will knock and bring me a cell phone, then ask how many I have now...and before I know it, we’re hanging out and discussing international adoption, family, and future plans. People I didn’t even know knew me ask how the adoption is going sometimes. And where else can I run down the hall and find someone that will be just as excited as me about a new development? I even showed off the pictures of the three beds with their quilts...
A quick look at the clock and it appears I’d better write that essay or plan on cramming it between work study and class. And so, reader, you are mercifully spared an even longer post.
Being away from my family while the adoption is progressing is very hard at times and I often feel disconnected. Daniel even told me over break that “It sort of doesn’t feel like you are part of the family anymore. But that’s okay, I still love you.” At six, he can hardly be expected to have tact... I know that not very much is happening, and may seem like nothing for the rest of my family at home, but I only find out things in chunks, and it is things like inside family jokes, expressions, and dinner time conversations that I miss. What for them is more of a gradual process for me sometimes feels like it moves in fits: Christmas break finds me clearing out my old room and moving in with Annie and discussing where we will fit our new sister’s bed. A phone call a few weeks later at school - and the quilts are chosen for the beds and I learn that they’ve begun referring to our new siblings by the Chinese words for little brother and little sister. The next week brings an email with pictures of Annie’s room transformed into ‘our’ room...with a third bed waiting for the third sister.
Of course, being at college makes the process even more exciting at times. Girls come in my room and get excited see my adoption fund chart has more colored circles, or they find me coloring them in and ask if they can help. In the middle of a paper, someone will knock and bring me a cell phone, then ask how many I have now...and before I know it, we’re hanging out and discussing international adoption, family, and future plans. People I didn’t even know knew me ask how the adoption is going sometimes. And where else can I run down the hall and find someone that will be just as excited as me about a new development? I even showed off the pictures of the three beds with their quilts...
A quick look at the clock and it appears I’d better write that essay or plan on cramming it between work study and class. And so, reader, you are mercifully spared an even longer post.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Finger Prints!
Well, Now I need to scratch criminal off my list of potential careers since I now have fingerprints on record and I would be too easy to catch. Good thing it wasn't near the top of my list :)
After missing the turn once, I made it to the right road. I knew I was getting close when I passed the prison. After all, doesn't it make perfect sense to have a fingerprinting place and a prison right next to each other? I must have been somewhat nervous, I'm not sure why, but when I filled out the form I put the a before the l in my last name. Oops. Cross that out and start over. Then I almost wrote 27 instead of 26 for my birthdate. Once the form was filled out I was fine.
It took forever to get my prints, I think they had to try my left thumb and ring finger at least 8 times each, but now it is done. The machine is kind of cool. They spray your fingers with water (I think it was water), then they stick them on a glass plate and roll them around a bit. Your finger print comes up magnified on the computer screen, and they save it there. It's neat seeing your finger prints enlarged so they are probably as big as your head. That sure makes comparing prints a lot easier than looking at life size prints.
After missing the turn once, I made it to the right road. I knew I was getting close when I passed the prison. After all, doesn't it make perfect sense to have a fingerprinting place and a prison right next to each other? I must have been somewhat nervous, I'm not sure why, but when I filled out the form I put the a before the l in my last name. Oops. Cross that out and start over. Then I almost wrote 27 instead of 26 for my birthdate. Once the form was filled out I was fine.
It took forever to get my prints, I think they had to try my left thumb and ring finger at least 8 times each, but now it is done. The machine is kind of cool. They spray your fingers with water (I think it was water), then they stick them on a glass plate and roll them around a bit. Your finger print comes up magnified on the computer screen, and they save it there. It's neat seeing your finger prints enlarged so they are probably as big as your head. That sure makes comparing prints a lot easier than looking at life size prints.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
My first post
I'm not really ready for my first post, but I couldn't figure out how to just "join!"
But I am very ready for 2 more children that God seems to want to bless us with.
Thanks Annie for starting the blog. Hope I'll have more to say soon!
OH, I thought of something I've wanted to share--
In our adoption education class they asked us all to close our eyes and think about our homes and family. Our houses, the things we owned, the times and people we enjoyed. Then she knocked, "KNOCK, knock, knock, KNOCK" She told us she was the people mover and it was her job to move people. It was our turn to be moved. We had 30 minutes to stuff whatever we could into a large plastic trash bag. The bag could not hold pets or people. She would then escort us to her car and told us she would be bringing us to a new family. The family was REALLY excited about our coming and loved us very much. She drove through town and past houses to a nicer part of town with bigger houses. She pulled up in front of a very nice house and took us to the front door. She knocked and the door was opened by a new family. She told us this would be our new family. They have been waiting for a new mommy/wife and were VERY happy to see us. The new family hugged us and was eager to show love and incorporate us into their lives.
The instuctor asked, "How are you feeling? What are your thoughts?"
Then she went on: Because I am a very busy people mover I was not able to get back to you for 2 years. Finally I came back, "KNOCK, knock, knock, KNOCK" and told you I would take you back to see your old family, just for a visit. Then you would move on to your "Forever Family."
How would we feel about this? What would it be like to see our "old family" after 2 years? How would we feel about leaving the "new family?" What was this about a "Forever Family".
After the visit with our old family, "KNOCK, knock, knock, KNOCK" , the people mover came and told us it was time to move on. With a happy smile she said it was time to go live with our "Forever Family". She drove us through town. We went to a nicer part of town than our "first" family lived in, but not quite so nice as the "second" family. Once again she knocked on the door of a nice house, "KNOCK, knock, knock, KNOCK" . Once again a happy family opened the door. Once again they said they had been waiting for a new mommy/wife and were VERY happy to see us. The new family hugged us and was eager to show love and incorporate us into their lives.
How would we feel? Why woud we want to get close to these people? What had happened in the past when we got close to people? How would we feel about our "first" family? The "second" family? How would we feel the next time we heard, "KNOCK, knock, knock, KNOCK"? What would we do the next time we saw the people mover, someone who looked like her, or a van like the one she drove?
And so we were introduced into the lives of the orphan, or foster care child. The world of children who do not have any control over their own lives or people to keep them safe and secure. I felt so sad and angry too that any child should have to suffer so.
I don't know where my Taiwanese children are. But I do know they are in the care of their heavenly Father. And I know that He is reaching out to them in love and with care. And our family hopes and prays He will use us to heal the early wounds and hurts in their young lives and make them into people who will love and serve Him and his loved ones.
Pray for the orphans. God bless, Debbie
But I am very ready for 2 more children that God seems to want to bless us with.
Thanks Annie for starting the blog. Hope I'll have more to say soon!
OH, I thought of something I've wanted to share--
In our adoption education class they asked us all to close our eyes and think about our homes and family. Our houses, the things we owned, the times and people we enjoyed. Then she knocked, "KNOCK, knock, knock, KNOCK" She told us she was the people mover and it was her job to move people. It was our turn to be moved. We had 30 minutes to stuff whatever we could into a large plastic trash bag. The bag could not hold pets or people. She would then escort us to her car and told us she would be bringing us to a new family. The family was REALLY excited about our coming and loved us very much. She drove through town and past houses to a nicer part of town with bigger houses. She pulled up in front of a very nice house and took us to the front door. She knocked and the door was opened by a new family. She told us this would be our new family. They have been waiting for a new mommy/wife and were VERY happy to see us. The new family hugged us and was eager to show love and incorporate us into their lives.
The instuctor asked, "How are you feeling? What are your thoughts?"
Then she went on: Because I am a very busy people mover I was not able to get back to you for 2 years. Finally I came back, "KNOCK, knock, knock, KNOCK" and told you I would take you back to see your old family, just for a visit. Then you would move on to your "Forever Family."
How would we feel about this? What would it be like to see our "old family" after 2 years? How would we feel about leaving the "new family?" What was this about a "Forever Family".
After the visit with our old family, "KNOCK, knock, knock, KNOCK" , the people mover came and told us it was time to move on. With a happy smile she said it was time to go live with our "Forever Family". She drove us through town. We went to a nicer part of town than our "first" family lived in, but not quite so nice as the "second" family. Once again she knocked on the door of a nice house, "KNOCK, knock, knock, KNOCK" . Once again a happy family opened the door. Once again they said they had been waiting for a new mommy/wife and were VERY happy to see us. The new family hugged us and was eager to show love and incorporate us into their lives.
How would we feel? Why woud we want to get close to these people? What had happened in the past when we got close to people? How would we feel about our "first" family? The "second" family? How would we feel the next time we heard, "KNOCK, knock, knock, KNOCK"? What would we do the next time we saw the people mover, someone who looked like her, or a van like the one she drove?
And so we were introduced into the lives of the orphan, or foster care child. The world of children who do not have any control over their own lives or people to keep them safe and secure. I felt so sad and angry too that any child should have to suffer so.
I don't know where my Taiwanese children are. But I do know they are in the care of their heavenly Father. And I know that He is reaching out to them in love and with care. And our family hopes and prays He will use us to heal the early wounds and hurts in their young lives and make them into people who will love and serve Him and his loved ones.
Pray for the orphans. God bless, Debbie
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Our family
When I've linked to "strangers" adoption blogs, I always wish there was an introduction to the family somewhere. It is frustrating to piece together a picture of the family when people are randomly mentioned throughout the postings, so, for any one who doesn't know us personally, here's an intro to our family (from the photo album we sent to Taiwan):
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