“Who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time,”
- 2 Timothy 1:9
I want to start living in this grace! I realized this week one reason why I’ve felt so “behind the eight ball.” I am currently teaching 5 classes.
I teach a 4th grade Sunday school class each week.
I teach a state history class for elementary students every other week.
I also teach an elementary art appreciation class every
other week.
Then I teach an intermediate level Spanish class to high school students once each week as well as an introductory 8-week spanish class to middle school students.
WHY AM I DOING THIS?!
I guess it was just there to be done and it was in my “ability” range and within my “enjoyment” range. So I did it. . .
Now I am also home schooling 4 kids. Three that are not fluent readers yet and need lots of one on one time. Even though I have been home schooling multiple kids for over 15 years I have NEVER had 3 kids who all need individual one on one time. A “good” school day can go till 2 or 3 in the afternoon.
What’s a good day? A day in which everybody gets their major subject work done (Math, phonics, writing, spelling and reading) We get our work in our curriculum done, My Father’s World (mostly Bible and history with a little science thrown in) AND we have some fun, read a bit together, and don’t have too many fights.
Back to grace. . .
It just hit me the other day that I am really focused on DOING -- but you probably knew that. . .
I didn’t. I guess there is something hardwired inside me that just believes life is about doing. I think Jesus, by his grace, is trying to teach me that life may just be about BEING. I find this hard to fathom. I also find it hard to fathom that the END RESULT is not what I am after. It is a curious shock for me to realize, that just maybe, how I love and deal with my kids is more important than how they “turn out.”
This has given me lots of room for thought and room for change and lots of need for prayer. Just the idea that I can stop beating myself up for not having all my ducks in a row and just give those very ducks over to HIM and he will see us through.
I recently had some very clear examples of just how this can work. We went away for the weekend, mostly to celebrate with some friends, but also to get some fun time away with our littlest three. We stayed at a hotel -- something both Kai and Sarah-Grace have complained they had never done in the USA--and had lots of time swimming in the pool.
But of course, before leaving on even a little get away, there is so much to plan. I wanted all my class plans out of the way so I wouldn’t have to do all that when we got back.
Well, God seemed to have other plans. I had my Monday AM class planning done by Friday. Then, we left. By His grace I was able to fit all those other classes in when we got back without a bit of stress.
In the same way, a birthday gift I couldn’t find time to buy at the last minute, I was able to pick up on the way to the party because I was asked to stop at a store.
Yeah, these are little things. But it just shows me in little ways that I don’t need to be planning and plotting, just living.
