Just over a year ago

Take a look at the ticker at the top of the page. *sigh*

Just over a year ago today, I was sitting in an English class in the dining hall at Christian Mountain Children's home, sitting with the little guys and whispering the answers to Kenny and Fanny. We were practicing numbers and letters. Melody interrupted and told me I needed to go to the office, my Mom was trying to e-mail me.

At that moment I was filled with such anticipation. A mix of nervous dread and excitement. Because, really the only way for them to know that my Mom was trying to contact me was if she called. And, I had missed a call from home to the cell phone I was borrowing earlier that day. My parents already knew I was there safely. I had contacted them. So there were only 2 reasons they would call twice in one day: something terrible had happened at home or we had gotten our referral.

So, nervously, I walked over to the office, signed onto my e-mail, and opened it up to this.


The tears started streaming down my face. I was so happy and excited and in love with this little girl I had never met.

I wished so badly that I could print out the pictures of she and Kai Wei and show them to everyone, but I had to content myself with saving their picture as my computer desktop. (I didn't see a printer anywhere).

When we first got our referral, we hoped they would be home in 3-6 months. Maybe even in time for my parents anniversary in October. Then the orphanage told us 6-9 months was more likely, and we revised out hopes to Christmas. Christmas got closer and closer and there was still no movement with Ssu Ya's case. We started telling people "hopefully February or March". Kai Wei's final ruling was actually Dec. 10 and by the time the end of Jan. rolled around and Sarah Grace STILL hadn't had her hearing, we decided we needed to bring him home NOW. So, once he came home in February, we still optimistically told people we hoped she'd be home before the summer. I even bought her winter pajamas hoping she would be able to get some use out of them. Spring passed, summer came and I hoped she would be home by the one year since referral mark. Now it has passed and I just hope she comes home. No deadlines. No more expectations. I just don't want her bed to stay empty, her clothes unworn, the toys never played with. I want my little sister to come home.