"It's nice just having two people home cleaning," Daniel told me (Rebecca) this morning as I cooked dinner and he cleaned the glass doors. "Because that way," he went on, "no one takes the chores you want."
True, but then, there are less people to do the chores too! But Annie and Jonathan come home soon and we'll have the house looking lovely in time for our parents' return.
As I've been cooking and cleaning today I can't help but think about how this home coming will be for Kai-Wei. Will he be scared, nervous, afraid? When he looks around, what will he think? Tonight, lying in a strange bed in a strange house in a strange country and surrounded by strangers how will he feel? Will he realize that we love him and it's okay if he's sad and scared, it's okay if he cries and if he isn't ready to fully participate in family life right away? Will he understand that we've been waiting so long for this and we're willing to wait a little longer if he needs us to?
Thinking about meeting them at the airport in a few hours excites me...but it also scares me. Every time I said 'tomorrow!' yesterday I had a nervous stomach ache. That hasn't stopped.
I imagine being a little boy, tired, missing friends, not knowing the language walking into this house that is so different where I don't recognize anything. I try to think of how I would feel, how I'd react. I remember the feelings I had when I arrived in Bolivia and then I multiply them by 10, by 20, by 100. That was for five months. This is forever.
Mom called from Michigan an hour or so ago. They're back in the states. Kai-Wei is officially an American. Has it sunk in for him that this is forever? Has it sunk in for any of us? Forever is a long time - I don't think we can ever fully understand it except slowly, day by day, laughter and tears, sadness and joy, anger and love.
We're ready, Kai-Wei; the welcome home sign is hung, the balloons are waiting, your little brother Daniel even put a tack in the wall especially for your flying screeching monkey! We've had three years to wait, three years to learn to love you without even knowing you - I don't think we can do anything more to get ready.
No wait, I’m wrong...we still have to vacuum!
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1 comment:
Precious! You have all done the very best you can to understand where he may be at- the rest will get taken care of with time and prayer. I am praying that miraculous connections and bonds and healing occur... the type that can only be accomplished by the Lord!
May this very BIG, BIG day be wonderful for you all!
Tisra
waiting for referral of our fourth child
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